30 Days of Play

It’s no secret amongst those in the know that Etsy is a bitch**.

If you weren’t formerly in the know, welcome to the know.

However, until I locate that special leprechaun that will design a shiny new website from scratch for Lad Named Felix (that I’m actually able to freely update myself), Etsy is the bitch I have to work for, and work for her I shall. Think of Etsy as a cluelessly privileged hipster/hippie fence-sitter who thinks she knows fashion because her TV gets E!, introduces you as her “gay friend”, smells like menthols and Juniper Breeze, wears all of her jewelry every day, loves caftans constructed from discarded feed bags, builds diaper cakes for all her non-barren friends’ baby showers, collects thimbles from all 50 states, wants to know about your cat’s feelings, names her fuzzy pens, won’t shut up about the shelves she picked up half price at Pottery Barn, has inspirational plaques in her cube with quotes about sisters and footprints, keeps all her (and your) Altoids tins, keeps a sparse blog with the word “musings” in the title…but is still your boss. And the bitch keeps your commission. She shares it with her friend in the Wednesday night drum circle, PayPal.

Regardless of how I feel about working for that salt-water hoor as a seller, Etsy is still a fantastic place to be a BUYER. Where else can you peruse alpaca balaclavas, hand-embroidered vulvas, jewelry made from cat hair, 9/11 refrigerator magnets, and sculptures made of human fingernail clippings (while searching for things you’ll actually, yanno, buy)? Artfire could work, but did you know they restrict words like “champagne”, “bitch”, and “whiskey” in their item listings? You could try eBay, but if you’re like me, shopping at eBay feels like being stranded in your sex offender uncle’s garage while he goes to the kitchen to fetch you both a sweet snack. Etsy is where it’s at if you’re able to lick at the candy shell long enough to get to the Tootsie Roll in the middle.

I’ll give you a minute with that.

Okay, feel better? Good. ONTO THE POINT. I’m a big proponent of creative play. Books like Julia Cameron’s The Artists’ Way hooked me on finding ways to just stop all the mind chatter and play. The benefits are two-fold: I get to take a deliberate break from the busy, hectic life I lead, and it frees up ideas and inspiration that can then be applied to my focused creative work. How have I done it in the past? I have an extensive (read: ridiculous) collection of Bratz - see below for an example of play; I play with Legos; The Sims cower at the mention of my very name. I PLAY WITH DOLLS, OKAY? Jealous? Taking photos around the city is play, as well. So is singing karaoke in front of strangers (it is, you bitch).

I was inspired by a post at the Artist in the Arctic’s blog regarding a scavenger hunt through Etsy. I’ve been dry with ideas since my last Handmade Market show, and I’m looking for ways to fill the well. This sounded like so much fun (like a Regretsy outing) and a delicious chance to PLAY. So play I will…maybe I can find something about Etsy that isn’t so off-putting. Through the magic of Facebook, I’ve collected some awesome words and phrases. I plan to use Etsy to find one item for each scavenger hunt “clue”, then post my play here. One a day, for 30 days or until my inner child passes out from too many mini-marshmallows and Sunny Delight. Whatevs. It’s my blog.

**Let it be known that without Etsy, LNF would not have enjoyed the success it has so far achieved; however, Etsy is still a total closed-door mystery as a company, and there are manifold reasons to be suspicious of their track record and their practices. Be informed.